


Driver's License

by Channvoices



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Angst, Crying, Driving, Heartbreak, M/M, Post-breakup, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-18 21:02:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29615400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Channvoices/pseuds/Channvoices
Summary: Getting his driver’s license should be exciting for Minho, he’s finally achieved it after many tries. But Chan isn't here anymore, or at least not with him. They promised each other forever, but now Minho drives alone towards Chan's street.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Minho | Lee Know, mentioned Bang Chan/Hwang Hyunjin, past Lee Minho | Lee Know/Bang Chan
Comments: 8
Kudos: 18





	Driver's License

**Author's Note:**

> Hi hi hi !! 
> 
> From the first moment I listened to drivers license by Olivia Rodrigo I couldn't stop thinking about minchan lol so I wrote this. I hope you enjoy it ♡ 
> 
> And thank you so much to @PeppermintBark for being my beta <3 you helped me a lot 
> 
> If you can listen to the song while reading it would be amazing !!

The night feels colder than it should and the hazy fog seems strange for this time of the year. It seems even the atmosphere wants to make Minho feel more miserable than he already does. It's two o'clock in the morning and Minho is driving through the lonely streets of the city aimlessly. Or maybe not. 

Today is a day he’d dreamed about many months ago. Minho had tried so many times to get his driver's license, but he always fumbled the last part of the exam in which he would drive on the street next to the driving inspector. That part never went well; Minho's nerves would play a dirty trick on him, and he couldn’t reach the necessary mark. Minho could remember how he returned home so disheartened. Although, a blond boy always waited for his arrival with a comforting smile, one ready to dismiss his sad sentiments.

"You will do better next time, love!" Chan said, opening his arms for a big hug.

"That’s what you said last time, Channie,” Minho answered with a resigned tone, letting himself be hugged by those strong and warm arms in which Minho always could find comfort.

"I'm sure you did well! You just have to put in a little more effort next time. Don't worry, Min.”

Minho just sighed in response. 

"You know, we could do something,” Chan continued. “What do you think if the next time you take the test, you think about all the things we can do if you have your driver's license? First, you could come to my house without your parents’ help." 

Minho looked up and listened to Chan’s words very carefully. 

"We could also ride through the city together. We could visit places we haven't visited before and make new memories, doesn’t that sound good?" Chan said with a shining smile. 

"But we can ride through the city with your driver’s license, Chan!"

"I know that, Min, but doesn't sound amazing? Couldn’t you be the one who could take us to those places? Besides, you know my parents are always using the car."

"Well, when you put it in that way..."

"I'm sure if you think about that you will achieve it. I trust you Min, and you should too." 

Chan left a small kiss on Minho's forehead, while Minho just stared at him. He took in how Chan’s eyes were full of love for him, how his lips turned into a sweet smile, one that he only dedicated to him. Minho could not imagine anyone else receiving that same smile.

Chan was always so sweet throughout their eight months together. He always treated Minho in a way that melted the younger’s heart. Chan always made sure his boyfriend felt comfortable and supported, and with that in mind Minho could not imagine what life would be like without him. 

Now, Minho is blinking rapidly, trying to get away from that sweet but painful memory. Yes, he had earned his driver's license. And yes, he had thought about everything Chan told him that day. But he still doesn’t understand why things are so different now. It's so unbelievable to him how everything could change in such a short time. It had been only a few months, but Minho couldn't keep any of those promises, although he wanted to with all his heart.

The weather is so cold even though the car windows are closed. Minho regrets not taking his sweater before going out, but when you do something impulsive you don't think about things like the weather, right? Minho couldn't blame himself for this.

Some hours ago, he was lying in bed, looking at that piece of plastic that was now his driver's license, when memories flooded his mind. The air in his bedroom became harder to breathe and the intense sting in his heart made tears gather in his eyes. He just couldn't handle it. Therefore, he shot out of his bedroom, took the keys to his parent's car, and left. For Minho, it was a way to get some fresh air and drive away his pain, but honestly? Driving alone through endless streets at two in the morning just had increased his heartache.

Minutes go by and his destination is still uncertain. Minho just turns onto random streets, trying to find a place that could soothe the intense ache in his heart, but even speeding up didn't make the feeling go away. Before he realizes it, he gets lost in another memory that just makes his heart burn more than it did, but he couldn't avoid it. Unfortunately, this is just how heartbreak works. 

This time, Minho was in the passenger seat of a car that wasn't his, sitting next to Chan. They were in Chan's parents’ car. Fortunately that night, Chan's parents weren't using their car, so he had invited Minho to go on a night ride. Sometimes they liked to go on this kind of date; just driving aimlessly with loud music, the car's windows rolled down and the night air in their faces, enjoying their time together. Always together- that was always the most important part.

It probably wasn’t anything special. Driving with your boyfriend while listening to music? It was nothing special. Although for Minho, it was in those things that could seem so common at a glance that he could find real happiness. For him, it could be the most simple action, but doing it with Chan it would make his heart jump for joy. The older had a beautiful aura, and he could make you feel warm and safe with the simplest of words. He just feels like home. Chan was home for Minho and Minho loved to be protected by him. At that moment he really wished that the promises Chan always made were ones he could’ve kept forever. 

And as he thinks of before, with that memory he breaks into pieces. Minho can’t avoid his tears anymore, so he just lets them spill, not caring if his tears cloud his vision. He continues to grip the steering wheel while he makes turn after turn. At the beginning, Minho had told himself he didn't have a destination, but God, he had lied to himself. They’d always had a last stop.

Finally, with a loud cry and an incessant ache in his chest, he turns the last street, slowing down the car. He drives slowly, trying to wipe his tears as he looks carefully at the familiar street. It’s a road he’s gone down hundreds of times in the past with a specific purpose, one he didn't have anymore. 

Out of habit, he parks his car once he arrives at a certain house. He sits in his car, looking at the two-story house with light blue walls. Even if he tried to lie to himself while he was driving, he supposes he’d known from the beginning that he was going to his ex-boyfriend's house, but why? It doesn’t make sense. There’s no good reason for it. Minho can’t go to Chan's house, he shouldn't look for him. What’s the point of causing himself more pain? Minho doesn’t understand either, but sometimes your heart just looks for ways to cause more pain than you can handle. 

And the best way to cause more heartache is to think about how Minho is the only one between the two of them that feels this way. Minho can't imagine how Chan could be okay with their relationship being over. And the worst part? Chan had a new boyfriend already. 

The lucky man is a guy with long blond hair named Hyunjin. He’s one of Chan’s classmates from swimming class, and actually? Minho can't blame him. Anyone could fall for that gorgeous being, really. Minho only thinks about how Hyunjjn had everything that he was insecure about, and he understands it. Minho understood that not even a full month after they broke up, Chan had replaced him. But even if he understands it, even if everything makes sense, it doesn’t stop his heart from tightening so strongly that it felt like it was about to explode. 

He can’t stop thinking about how they’re probably together right now, sleeping next to each other as Chan used to do with him. How Chan is probably holding Hyunjin's hand, tracing small circles with his fingers so that Hyunjin could fall asleep. It hurts so much to think about, and before Minho knows it, he’s crying again, letting out loud sobs. 

So here he is, in the seat of his parents' car, parked in front of the house of the one he still loved intensely, crying hopelessly with his hand over his eyes and his face over the steering wheel. The cold weather keeps him company, but it doesn’t soothe his heartache. Besides, Minho shouldn’t be in a situation as ridiculous as this. He feels bad for acting in this way, but he hasn't found another way to confront his hurt. 

He had asked himself again and again why he wasn't enough for Chan. Maybe he had never deserved the older. Maybe he should have acted in a different way. How did he let those little problems build up and then explode to the point that there wasn't a “they” anymore? 

Minho didn't usually stop to ponder a question when he knew he wouldn’t find an answer. Saying "If only i would have" is useless, and Minho knows that. But at the same time, he isn’t thinking straight, his heartbreak overpowering his reason. Maybe nothing would have fixed their relationship, and maybe there was nothing that either of them could have done, but Minho feels like he has to blame someone. So he’s blaming himself.

When you finally release your feelings, you’re supposed to feel liberated, but Minho? He feels like he’s fallen in a hole that he can’t climb out of. He just feels so vulnerable. So breakable. He’s been at the edge of breaking for weeks, and today he finally has. 

He doesn’t know if it would be better to share this hurt with someone, because the only thing he can think about now is the need to drown in his sorrow. His best friend, Seungmin, had told him so many times that he would always be next to him, a call away if Minho needed him. It’s a comforting thought, but at the moment Minho doesn’t want to include him in this mess. 

The only person who could understand this was himself, in the end. He’s the one who was with Chan for several months. He’s the only one who knows their story. Nobody else could say anything that would make sense in his mind.

After a while, Minho calms down and the flow of tears finally starts to slow. Once they stop, he looks up to the house that he remembered visiting so many times, the house in which he’d lived unforgettable moments with someone he couldn't forget. Someone he couldn't stop loving.

He tries to wipe away the remaining tears and moves to start his car before pausing. He closes his eyes and tries to remember a soft melody, one that Chan used to sing to him when they slept together. Maybe it isn’t the best idea, but the memory of the song always made him feel at peace. Thinking about Chan’s velvety voice singing him a sweet lullaby gives him serenity, and he finally feels calm enough to drive back to his home. It’s been a hard night; his feelings had exhausted him, so he should try to return home and rest. 

On the way back, Minho hums that lullaby and it makes him feel an unusual calm. Surely his chest still feels heavy, his eyes hurt from crying, and his shirt is wet with tears, but strangely he feels calmer. It’s as if the memory of Chan was with him on his way back, as if he could now imagine that all those promises were being fulfilled. It feels almost like Minho was driving on one of the many rides Chan had yearned to do with him.

Even if all of it is fake, it still feels so real. And for Minho, that’s enough. He had felt so much pain in the last few hours, and if something fictional made him feel calm, he wouldn't stop it, at least not for now. 

If the memory of Chan and him driving together made him feel less miserable, he would keep it. At least until his reality stops hurting. Sometimes, pretending helps to hold the pain. And Minho needed to find a way to bear the love he still felt for Chan. That love that hurt him to feel.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading this 🥺  
> This is my first ever fic in English and I'm really nervous about it but I hope you have enjoyed it ! 
> 
> Kudos and comments are really appreciated ♡. 
> 
> twt and cc: @Channvoices


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